My Doezher

Having time on my hands, I sent away to the FBI for my dossier to which I am entitled under the Freedom of Information Act. I was sure I had a dossier (pronounced doezher by the FBI), because many years ago I had been a member of the dread Socialist Workers party. The FBI somehow conceived of the SWP as a great menace to the Republic, in spite of the fact that outside of the party membership and the FBI few people even knew of our existence, and the majority of those who did know thought we were a brand of paint.

I thought that my doezher would be a slim modest thing. After all, Leon Trotsky I wasn’t. To my great surprise and flattery, the postman delivered a weighty tome of 293 pages-293 pages and all mine! The budget balancers in our midst would be shocked. Can you imagine how many man hours and how much expense a 293-page doezher represents?

Of course, most of the interesting stuff, where you get to find out who the stoolies were, was blanked out; except for a...